Summertime!!!!

I can't believe summer is here. Well, not officially, of course, but according to the school calendar it is here in full force! Ethan actually had to miss the last day of school. It was almost a dejavu of last year. The week prior he had started having some coughing and asthma issues, but no other symptoms. Things just never really got better. And then the night before the last day of school, Ethan started running a fever of 103 and coughing. I was worried that things had progressed into pneumonia by that point, but his oxygen levels were still good. Regardless, he was not going to school on the last day. He was devastated! He ended up writing a note to his teacher that I took to the school and delivered to her. It said something like "Dear Ms. L, I am going to miss you. I hope you have a good summer. I had fun in your class this year." And he signed it by drawing a heart and then signing his name. When I gave it to his teacher, she almost started crying. And then I almost started crying because I knew how much Ethan was wanting to be there on the last day of school. It was tough! When I took him to the doctor that day, the pediatrician went ahead and treated him for pneumonia because of his symptoms. He said there wasn't really a need to do the chest x-ray because he was going to treat him the same way no matter what. Plus, we were supposed to be leaving for camp in just a few days and we really needed Ethan to get well. Ethan was put on Prednisone plus a heavy duty antibiotic. Luckily, the meds did the trick and by the time we left for camp, his coughing was better and he was feeling like Superman because of the steroids.

We ended up having a wonderful time at Magic Moments Family Camp despite a few rain showers here and there. Ethan and Rob went tubing. Emily swam in the lake and played in the sand while they were tubing. The kids loved swimming in the pool. We played in the most awesome pirate tree house ever! We went boat riding. There were fun carnival games where the kids won little prizes. We had quite a competitive round of bingo. They did some arts and crafts. We rocked out and got our groove on during the evening dance. The parents got to enjoy a quiet meal without the kids during Parents Night Out / Kids Night Out. We had an amazing fireworks show! And some of the best times were when we weren't really doing much of anything at all except catching lightening bugs in the evening or eating Pop Rocks on the deck of our cabin. We are so blessed to be able to go to such an amazing camp each year. Magic Moments is truly one of the best children's charities that I've ever seen. Ethan and Emily feel like they keep getting wishes each and every year because of this wonderful camp. For those of you that may not know, Magic Moments hosts a camp each year for the wish children and their families. It is held at Children's Harbor on Lake Martin. Once you've been granted a wish, you are eligible to go to this camp each year until you turn 18. We still have many years left. And the one thing that amazes me about Ethan and Emily is that they are totally blind to children's disabilities that attend this camp. No matter the severity of the other children's issues, it made no difference to my kids. They were all just kids in their eyes! And that's the way it should be! In fact, Emily played in the sand with a little girl who had Spina Bifida and the little girl could only communicate by sign language. Even though Emily couldn't sign with her, they still managed to play together and have fun. But ever since we got home, Emily has been determined to learn to sign. She knows that they used to sign when they were infants and toddlers, but she doesn't remember the signs. She pulled out the signing DVDs I had and she has been watching them and teaching herself to sign. I also pulled out an old sign language book that I had from when I was little and gave it to her.

Also, now that school is out, I have signed the kids up for swimming lessons. They desperately need them. Their P.E. coach from school teaches the lessons and I am praying that they work for the kids. Emily is scared to death about it, too, because I won't be staying for the lesson. Ethan is more excited because he really WANTS to learn to swim. I'm hoping that these are successful because they will end just before our cousins from Colorado come for a visit. I know that we'll be swimming while they are here.

Since the kids have been out of school, they have been doing a lot of reading. Emily was reading a book that was 282 pages. She can't wait until the school library opens next week so she can go in and test on it. They can test on books all summer and they will count towards next year's AR points. I was telling Emily about some of the Beverly Cleary books. I thought that she would really enjoy reading some of those. So we went to the public library yesterday and she got two of the Ramona books. While we were there, Ethan spotted the Harry Potter books. He is such a huge HP fan and really wanted to check out one of the books. I told him he could, but I showed him how thick they were. I just didn't want him to get discouraged. It has only been very recently that he has even gotten into reading. I'd hate for him to give up on it because he got something too hard. I told him to take the book and sit down on one of the couches and read the first two pages for me. I just wanted to make sure that he didn't have any problems with the words, punctuation, comprehension, etc. He sat down and within just a minute or two he was done and said that he wanted to check it out. Well, that was yesterday, and Ethan is already on page 32 of the Harry Potter book! He got the second book in the series because the first one was checked out. He has seen all of the movies so he isn't missing the plot. He has spent so much of the day just reading. He LOVES this book. So, I sat him down this afternoon and worked out a plan with him. I first asked him how it was going and if he was having any trouble at all with any part of the book. He said he wasn't. I told him that when you read really big books like this, you have to do it in baby steps. I told him that if he can read an average of just 10 pages per day, then he can finish the book in just 34 days. I said that that would be a very good goal for him at his age. I really doubt there are many 1st graders who are reading Harry Potter. I told him how proud I was of him to be reading that book. He asked me how many AR points he would get for it and so we looked it up together. He about freaked when I told him. This book is ranked on a 6th grade level and is worth 14 AR points!!! And the really funny part about this is that when Emily heard this she FREAKED! The competition is ON!!!!

And I can't close without asking for some prayers for my dad. He started his radiation this week for his cancer. They are trying to shrink the tumor in his lung before they can do surgery to remove it. Removing it right now is just too risky and they need to try to get it to reduce in size as much as they can before doing any surgery. Please say a prayer for Lenord Roberson if you could.

Big Awards

Ethan and Emily had their 1st Grade award ceremony this past week at school. I was so proud of them. Emily earned a very special trophy for reading and earning over 50 AR points. I think she had around 63 points. Out of all of the first graders (well over 200 of them), there were only 7 students who received this trophy. Emily SHOULD HAVE been very proud of herself. However, while she was on stage with her award, they made an announcement that there was one child in her grade that read over 100 points, and the look of total disgust on Emily's face almost made me laugh out loud. Talk about competitiveness. It was almost like she couldn't enjoy the moment of getting her special award because there was somebody there that read more books than her. I could just see everything that was going through her little mind while she was standing on those risers. I even had to call out to her to smile (we were sitting on the front row) so I could get a picture of her. On her way walking back to where her class was sitting, she came over so I could congratulate her and she immediately mentioned to me how the other girl got over 100 points. I told her how awesome she did and how proud I was of her, but I don't think she cared about all of that. Then I looked at her and said, "Okay, Emily, now you know who you need to beat next year and how much more you need to read." THAT was what she wanted to hear. Goodness gracious this child is competitive! And I wonder where she gets that from... Ha-ha!

As the award program continued, my pride increased. Both of the kids received the Superintendent Award, which is a medal for getting straight A's all year long. I've got to mention how great it is to see Ethan receive this award in his class. He is the only boy in his class to get straight A's. And both of the kids also received awards for receiving excellent conduct grades all year long. Ethan was so cute, though. When he got that award, you could see the look on his face like he didn't understand why he received it. As we were walking back to his room he even asked me about it. I told him it was because he has received G's all year long in conduct and is so good. He looked kind of shocked and sad, and said, "But I didn't." I said, "Well, do you want to tell your teacher and give the award back?" You see, Ethan had a rough couple of days during the first couple of weeks of school. This was before he was diagnosed with ADHD. He has had perfect conduct the entire year since then. The teacher saw Ethan's distress and she asked what the problem was and I explained his concern that he was afraid that he didn't deserve the award because he didn't earn G's all year. She kind of laughed and said that those couple of days in the beginning were forgiven because of the circumstances and he has been so good since then. So, Ethan went home with a clear conscience knowing that he really did deserve and earn his award. Ha-ha! I was also given some of the best news from Ethan's teacher. She gave Ethan a Star test to see what is his current reading level. When she started telling me, I could see how proud she was of him. Ethan tested at 3.8. Basically that means that he tested at 8 months into the 3rd grade year, so almost at a 4th grade reading level. When he started 1st grade, he was just at a 1st grade level and he has improved so much that he has jumped up several grade levels in that short of a time span. Wow! That is amazing!

I still can't believe that I almost have second graders. It seems like only yesterday when I was holding my tiny little preemies in my arms. We only have two more days left of school. Since it was the end of the year, I fulfilled a promise to Emily that I made to her a long time ago. I let her have an end of the year slumber party. It was a total last minute decision. I didn't know if we were going to be able to do it because we have had a lot of stuff going on, but we ended up not having plans this weekend and I wanted to be able to do this for her. I called her friends' moms and luckily they were all able to come. Emily was so excited!!!! Maddy, Molly, and Gracie all spent the night at our house. Those girls had a BLAST!!!!!! At first Ethan did not want to be here, but he changed his mind. He was stuck in a house with four girls and he ended up having fun, too. The kids danced and sang with Emily's Hannah Montana stage. They played in the playhouse. They ate a TON of pizza. We baked a cake. They painted their fingernails and toenails. We roller skated through the house. They just had all kinds of fun. I'm so glad that I was able to do that for Emily. I love seeing the friendships develop at this young of an age.

Next weekend is another big weekend for us. We will be heading up to Lake Martin for our annual Magic Moments Family Camp weekend. We had to miss it last year when Ethan ended up being hospitalized at the last second. We are very much looking forward to going this year!!!

The Race

I have to dedicate much of this blog to talk about something that has been going on for several months. I will just call it The Big Race. I can't even tell you exactly when it started, but it was probably sometime in February. Here is what it is. The "race" is a fictional race against Ethan and his daddy that is drawn on the back of Ethan's school papers. The picture is always the same with the exception of one thing, who is ahead in the race. Let me see if I can set the scene for you. It is a bright and beautiful day with the sun shining big and bright in the sky. The race takes place in the ocean and Daddy is driving a boat and is speeding along as fast as he can go down in front. Ethan is riding a surfboard and appears to be on the ride of his life with this massive wave that is carrying him across the sea. Like I said, the picture has always been the same, except on some days, Ethan was ahead and on other days, Daddy was ahead in the race. The thing is, I never mentioned to Ethan one single thing about this picture. I just casually took his school papers out of his folder and immediately turned them over to see if I would have another drawing. I often wondered how he had the time to draw such detailed artwork on the back of his school work, but I looked forward to it. A while back, when I realized that he was drawing the same picture over and over, I started saving them. I now have a collection of the race pictures. And the best one of them all came this week. I suppose he felt like he had to finally end the race since we are on the last full week of school. The picture was a two part picture. The top part shows the boat and surfboard both heading toward a beach off in the distance with a finish line in front of them. You can see that on the beach is a first place trophy and an award stand. The second part of the picture is where Ethan (the surfer) is celebrating because he won the race. Confetti is flying in the air all around him. So, after months of this ongoing race, Ethan the surfer has beaten Daddy the boater.

It is hard to even comprehend that this is the end of the school year. The kids only have 5 more days left of school. This year has flown by and I am amazed at how much my children have changed during that time. This was definitely a year of growth and maturity. I am so proud of both of them for their accomplishments. This Thursday is their award ceremony at school and we are looking forward to it.

Regarding my dad, we have had some very positive and uplifting news. He had his adrenal gland biopsy and we were very surprised with the results. The test came back NEGATIVE for cancer. The oncologist was as SHOCKED as we were. This is very promising news because it means that we are just dealing with the large mass in his lung right now. Unfortunately for Dad, though, it means another biopsy. They will have to do a needle biopsy on the mass in his lung. They still don't know exactly how to treat it until they know definitively what kind of cancer it is. That test is scheduled for Thursday morning.

As far as Rob and me and the job hunt thing, well...we're still hunting. :)

Lonely Weekend

Rob has Army Drill this weekend. He has been looking forward to this particular weekend for quite a while. It is a three day drill. Friday was spent all day preparing for the big maneuver training that will take place at Camp Shelby in Mississippi. He was pretty exhausted when he got home last night, and he had to be up at 3:30am to leave this morning. He is actually one of the Humvee drivers and had to get certified and receive his license last month. Rob is a little OCD, though, and he was going crazy this week trying to prepare while he was packing his gear. He still hasn't been issued everything from the Army yet and that was bugging him more than I can even explain. I just hope the weekend goes well for him. He didn't get much sleep last night and he has a hard time functioning well when he is overtired.

This weekend also happens to be my dad's birthday. He is turning 65. My parents are gone, though, and are in Houston for the weekend. They are staying with my sister. My cousin and her daughter, Tracy and Ashley, are flying in to Houston from Colorado to be with my parents for the day and to help celebrate Dad's birthday. I am glad that Dad will have a nice birthday celebration, but I am just feeling very left out because I want to be there with him this year. I guess Dad will just have to celebrate twice! And I know he won't mind because you can never have too much cake and ice cream. :)

Dad has had more testing at the cardiologist. He had an echo as well as a stress test. We were very happy to hear that although they still see a weak spot in his heart with decreased blood flow, it has not gotten worse over the past four years. This was wonderful news. This meant that he would not require any kind of heart procedure before moving on in his treatment, whether it was surgery to remove the tumor or whatever else is required. After getting his heart cleared, we had the appointment with the oncologist. In all honesty, we had the news that I was expecting to hear. Another biopsy is needed to fully diagnosis the cancer. This time the biopsy will be done on the adrenal gland. The oncologist is thinking that this is more likely a return of the kidney cancer that Dad had 13 years go and it has spread. The oncologist does not recommend removal of the tumor in the lung. He thinks that his recommendation is going to be shooting this thing with chemo to try and shrink it down, but of course we have to get biopsy results first for confirmation.

Ethan and Emily got their progress reports this week and both are making all A's. I can't believe that we are already approaching the end of the school year. Emily is not going to handle things well when she no longer has Mrs. Watson as a teacher. In fact, her teacher had to call me the other day because Emily had a meltdown in class because the teacher had to leave to go to a meeting. Emily has become very attached to her and I couldn't have asked for anybody better to take care of her when I'm not there, especially considering how rough this year has been for her and her headaches. Emily has had more headaches lately, too, and it got a little concerning for me this week. A couple of them were doozies!

Emily had her last tennis lesson this week. She is such a little tennis pro. I love watching her play. But what I really love is watching her excitement after she hits the ball. If she hits that ball perfectly over the net, she does this little booty shakin' dance thing where she holds either her racket up in the air or just her finger and sings "Oh yeah! Uh huh! Oh yeah! Uh huh!" It is just too adorable for words. And she is giggling so much on the court that her coach is always laughing and smiling at her, too. And that girl has more confidence in herself than anything I have ever seen. For somebody who used to be so shy that she wouldn't ever talk, I am amazed at how she can get up there and just be such a natural leader.

We are so deep into baseball that it is crazy. Man, this sport takes some serious dedication!!! Two to three games every week, plus practices on top of that. And then when I have to factor in time to take him to get his weekly shots and also tennis lessons, well, life has been crazy! And here is the thing about baseball and Ethan. The boy loves it. It doesn't matter to him that every other kid on the team is practically in the major leagues compared to him, he loves it. Half of the time he throws the ball, it only goes half-way to the other person and hits the ground. I've never heard him be hard on himself, nor have I heard the other players be hard on him. If he strikes out when he bats, then he just shrugs it off and runs back to the dugout with a smile on his face. If he happens to get a hit, then you would think it was a home run whether he makes it to the base or not. The best moment of our season so far (other than when Ethan was given that game ball) was when he got a hit and made it to first base. The player after him hit and he was able to make it to third. After that, the next player hit and Ethan started running home. We thought there was a chance that he might actually score a run in the game. He was tagged out at home plate. It didn't matter, though. The best part of the whole thing was when I heard every parent sitting in the stands with us yelling Ethan's name "GO ETHAN! GO ETHAN! GO ETHAN!" It was almost enough to bring tears to my eyes. Everybody knows what a special moment that was for us and for Ethan, too. And they realize what a special boy Ethan is, but they just don't realize what all we've overcome for him to even be playing that sport. We love to watch Ethan in the outfield. He is in his own little world when he is out there. You never know what you are going to get when you watch him. Sometimes he does these "ghost pitches" as we like to call them. He just stands out there and I think he is trying to perfect his form on throwing and catching, but of course he has no ball. Other times he is dancing. There are times when he is just spinning his hat on his head. And he loves to star gaze. We joke and say that if he had his way, he would take his telescope out on the field with him. And sometimes he just picks grass. And this is one that secretly makes me smile the most. Other moms would probably go crazy and want to yell at their child to stand up, but I think back to all of the years that Ethan had a grass aversion due to his sensory issues. I love the fact that he is touching grass. I still doubt he would ever sit in it, even today, but running his hands in it is a start. So, here I am, a proud baseball mom. Yes, not the typical baseball mom that you'd usually see, but let me assure you, I couldn't be prouder of my little star-gazing outfielder!

What a week!

This has been a roller coaster of a week. And I need to start this post off on a very positive note because we had a couple of wonderful and exciting things happen. One of them is with my little pint sized reader. Emily reads books ALL THE TIME! She loves to read and will read just about anything and everything. And yes, that even includes my Twilight book, but I'll save that for another post. (And in case anybody is wondering, Emily is totally "Team Jacob". Ha-ha!) The kids take AR tests at school on the books they read and each book has a certain point value assigned to it. Most 1st graders probably are averaging right now between 15-25 AR points depending on how well they read and comprehend what they read. I am so extremely proud of Emily right now because she is doing so extremely well. I received a text message from her teacher the other day telling me that Emily had just reached 50 POINTS!!!! That is VERY hard for a 1st grader to accomplish this! It is a very big deal! Ethan is doing very well, too, and is getting very motivated now that Emily has all of these points. In fact, when Emily finished reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid, he grabbed the book and sat and read it and he finished the entire book in just a few days.

Ethan is having such a good time playing baseball and he is really improving on his batting. We had three games this week. On one of the games Ethan had the proudest moment of his life. At the end of the game, he was awarded the game ball. The coach usually gives out the game ball to the player that did his best that game. Well, Ethan was obviously not the best player, but I know that he gave Ethan the ball because Ethan has improved so much and he really gives it his all. What was so amazing to see was the look of such innocent pride and joy on Ethan's face as he accepted it. That ball couldn't have been more important or meaningful if it had been solid gold or filled with diamonds. I was so thrilled for Ethan that night and loved seeing my son go to bed with such a huge smile on his face.

The rest of our week has been very busy. Rob and I are job hunting like crazy. Plus, we are helping Mom and Dad while they prepare to move into the little house. There are so many changes that are taking place right now and we just have to move with it and not focus too much on the details.

Dad got his results of his PET scan today. The news was not good. We know that the mass in his lung IS cancer. We also know that there is also another spot that is cancer located on his adrenal gland. Basically this means that it is either lung cancer that has spread to his adrenal gland, or it is renal cancer that has spread to his lungs. The doctor says that surgery to remove the mass is still necessary, but we have to make sure that his heart is strong enough first. He has an appointment to have an echocardiogram tomorrow and a stress test on Mon and Tues. He may have to have a heart procedure BEFORE having the lung surgery. Dad also has to see the oncologist, too. The oncologist will make the ultimate decision on how to treat the cancer. In a nutshell, we are all devastated, but still hopeful.

Dad's Test Results

I went with Mom and Dad yesterday to receive the news on Dad's biopsy. I was going to be the extra set of ears. I wanted to be there to listen for myself on what was to be said. I knew that my mom was not emotionally prepared for whatever the news might be, and I was ready to take notes and ask questions with my dad so we could help make the best treatment decisions possible. I had my little notebook and pen in my pocket and I was ready. My mom had already taken her anxiety pill and she was ready. (Ha-ha!) My dad was his usual calm and cool self and he was ready. (For anybody that doesn't personally know my parents, I have inherited my dad's calm nature and inner strength when it comes to facing challenges.) So, in we walk, heading to the exam room. What happened next is not what I expected at all. But before I tell about that, I have to back up and explain something that happened last week.

I am a realist. I really am. Though this past week I have had to listen to my grandma tell me on numerous occasions that I am a pessimist. I will tell you that I know that I'm not a pessimist, and the reason I know is because a pessimist doesn't have hope. Trust me, I have never lost hope. My life depends on hope. With everything that I have faced and will face (and the ones who know me well know what I mean by this) know that I have to have hope to live and stay sane. However, I live in reality and fully understand what can happen and don't kid myself about it. So when we are told that Dad has terminal cancer and has a huge mass in his lung, I tend to listen. I was standing in the room myself and listening to the doctor during the biopsy when he told us that they are quite certain that Dad has some type of cancer and it is just a matter of figuring out what kind. They didn't even know if it was operable and didn't even know what kind of treatment options were available. That was the point of the biopsy. After the biopsy on Tuesday, the doctor told us how many good samples he got and how they should have no problem at all determining what it is. And while he is telling us this, things were still pretty grim sounding. However, Dad was not worried. And the reason Dad was not worried is because of something that had happened just a couple of days prior.

Dad was sitting in the doctor's office waiting room and just listening to the music playing. His mood was low, things were not looking good. The doctors are saying he has terminal cancer. Suddenly, Dad has this feeling, like a voice that came into his head, and it told him that everything was going to be okay. It told him that he will have to have surgery to remove this thing, it will be contained, but that he will be okay. And then after that he just has this instant feeling of peace and is not worried anymore. Now remember, this was BEFORE the biopsy. Dad came home and started telling all of us about this and I actually started getting mad because Mom and Grandma started thinking that everything was perfect now because Dad said so. Dad has always been a dreamer of sorts, and in a way I was thinking that he was just trying to make them not worry. I was getting mad because they were not facing the reality of the situation and I didn't want them to be set up for more grief and upset later. And still, Dad was insistent that he was going to have surgery and that everything would be fine because of that "feeling" he had. Now, fast forward to the exam room when the doctor walks in to give us the results of the biopsy.

The doctor looks at the three of us and after we said our greetings, he just started shaking his head with a kind of dumbfounded expression. He said, "The test was non-diagnostic." It was inconclusive. We must have looked at him like he had grown another head! Seriously. How could this be? Even the doctor was confused and shocked. He didn't understand it and said that he doesn't know what happened. He said that maybe the mass moved when he was getting the sample and he didn't actually grab part of the mass. That is just one theory. Who knows what else could possibly be the case. He also told us that even though he was absolutely certain before that this thing was cancer, he did say that there is a chance that this is benign. He said that it would be a very rare chance, but it is a chance. He looked straight at my dad then and what I heard next just stunned me. He said, "Regardless of what this is, I think you need to have surgery to get it out." My dad, looking as calm as ever, just replied back that he already knew that. Now remember that before the biopsy, they didn't even know if surgery would be possible. Now he is looking at my dad and saying that this is the absolute plan and what we are doing next. Dad is at peace with it. I am still stunned.

So, here is the next chain of events. Monday Dad will see his cardiologist to make sure that his heart is strong enough to withstand that major of a surgery. Tuesday he will have another lung function test. Wed will be the next big test. He will have a PET scan. This will be the test to give us an idea whether or not this thing is cancer and if there are more spots elsewhere. He will then meet with a thoracic surgeon and plan the surgery if everything else checks out. It is all happening so fast now. We need lots and lots of prayers.

We laugh so we don't cry!

My dad had his biopsy on Tuesday and it went well. Dad was in very good spirits and he has a very positive outlook on things. The doctor did come out and talk to us and he said that although they know that this is a type of cancer that they are dealing with, they have no idea of knowing what kind until we get the results back from the biopsy. He showed us the pictures from the procedure and he pointed out how the tumor is compressing the airway. We will go in to get the results from the biopsy on Friday.

This week is Spring Break and we have been very busy trying to help Mom and Dad clean out their house and also clean and sort out Grandma's stuff out of the little house to get things ready for all of the changing and moving that will soon take place. Ethan and Emily are handling things really well now and are being such a big help to everybody.

Just when we thought we were handling everything and preparing ourselves for potentially the worst news we could still potentially receive, we were hit extremely hard with another blow yesterday. With just one day shy of working 90 days at his new job, Rob got laid off again. I truly am numb about this. And to think that I was just sitting there yesterday and worrying about what I would do about child care for my kids for Friday while I go to my Dad's doctor's appointment with my parents while they find out the results of his biopsy. I guess I don't have to worry about child care now since Rob will be home. That is one less worry on my plate. Ha-ha!

This is really going to sound like I've gone crazy, and maybe I have. Or maybe I have gone just a little bit insane just to protect myself mentally, but for some reason I am not freaking about this unemployment yet. And I should. I really should. The last time he was laid off I did freak. And we were way better off because he had a pretty good 401K that saved us. Well, that is gone. We had to live on that to survive for 7 months when we had no income. I should be FREAKING OUT! But I'm not. I'm watching what my parents are going through, thinking about what we're facing in the future, and this is just another blip on the radar. Everything in our lives are just temporary anyway. Enjoy it while you can, but it is the people around you that matter the most. I really don't know what will happen or what our next step will be, but whatever it is, I'll be okay.