Trying to prepare

We are trying to prepare and get things ready for Monday. I took the kids to Blockbuster and let them each pick out new movies to rent. We'll take the portable DVD player with us for Emily and Ethan can have one to keep with him at Nana and Papa's house. I also took Emily to get her hair cut today. Her hair is just now grown out from her last surgery where they had to shave her head and I really needed to take her in and get her hair trimmed and evened out before Monday. I know they will be shaving more of her hair off, but she gets so sensitive on her head after each surgery and I didn't know how long it would be before she would let Ms. Lana touch her hair. It makes me so sad to think about them having to shave her hair because it is such a big deal to Emily now.

We did do something fun today. I took them to the Kids Park and as soon as we were walking up we hear a couple little voices yelling Emily and Ethan's names. It was a couple little friends from their school that was at the park with their daycare. The kids had a lot of fun seeing their classmates and playing at the park for a while.

Some good news we found out is that Rob will NOT have to leave on Tuesday. He talked to his 1st Sargent today and they will get together and discuss a time that will work out best for Rob on leaving for AIT and that is when he will go. That was a HUGE relief!

I was able to talk to the hospital this afternoon and get Emily's pre-op stuff taken care of. We will have to be at the hospital at 10:30am on Monday morning, but her surgery isn't scheduled until 1:00pm. We will be going to the hospital tomorrow (Friday) for a CT scan of her head and possibly for some blood work, too.

You know, I've been doing really well at holding it all together until tonight. I was laying in bed with Emily while I was tucking her in tonight and I was just listening to her talk and I was thinking about how smart she is, and how amazing she is, and how delicate her little brain is, and it just hit me. She was laying there with her little arm wrapped around me and telling me how much she loved me and I was thinking about how much I just do not want to send her into surgery on Monday. It just kills me that it has to be this way and there isn't anything we can do about it. So here I sit, totally alone because everybody in the house is asleep right now except me, and I'm having my breakdown moment. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and go back to being strong like I'm supposed to be, but for right now I'm as weak as they come.